I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
