Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize