I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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