So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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