Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
