forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
