there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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