is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
