dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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