Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Your penis caused this!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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