i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
