you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
