Where are you?
In a non slutty way
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
