? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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