Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
