there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
