Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
