i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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