I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
