She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
