So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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