Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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