Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
