I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
