he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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