Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize