..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
