Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
