i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I checked into jail on foursquare
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize