Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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