this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
