It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
