I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
