Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
