Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
