I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
