so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
