Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
and she was petting her beer can
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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