I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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