THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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