Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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