I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize