Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
