Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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