I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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