so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize