I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
