Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
All the doctor said was why
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
