did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
