god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
