I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
