I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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