what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
