I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
