Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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