you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
