the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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