On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
