I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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