Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
